With this, Single Awareness Day has passed. Couples everywhere are quickly remembering why they hate each other and want nothing to do with one another fairly quickly. And I, in my isolation, revel in watching them all crash and burn into oblivion.
But this year, I decided to do something different: I decided to do something for YOU: my loyal readers. Today, we're diving into anime once more. But no ordinary anime. This is highly regarded as one of the worst anime out there, and a gigantic blemish on several voice actors resumes.
Today we take a look at: Eiken (Pronounced Ai-ken in the dub)
Eiken is a fanservice-themed manga created by Seiji Matsuyama. It tells the titlating tales of young Densuke Mifune at Zashono Academy. He's an uninspired, boring, average boy forced into joining the mysterious "Eiken" club at his prestigious school; all the other members being female and have REDUNKULOUS-sized breasts. The manga ran for eighteen volumes from 2001-2006, and had several radio dramas and today's subject: a two episode OVA that takes place during the third volume
As mentioned before, the manga and anime are regarded by many critics to be among the worst with poor ratings everywhere we look. Now the biggest question on your mind: "Why are you looking at this instead of something 'loved' theme for the holiday?"
The answer: Easy. I hate Eiken. And I'm spreading that hate for the world to enjoy. I'll be going over BOTH episodes since its, well, only two episodes at a half hour each with little to nothing in it. Plenty of time to rip it to shreds. Because of its length, we're going to look at the characters first. Surprise, surprise: there are too many characters here to just pass buy. So, let's start with the male lead.
Densuke Mifune - Bryce Papenbrook (Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online, Durarara!!): Densuke (pronounced, Den-su-kay in the dub) is our...our...he's a punching bag. He can't really be called hero because there are little to no positive qualities about him that indicate heroics or bravery. Densuke is an average, unimpressive, young man with a habit of slipping on banana peels and ending up in perverted situations. As a result. He's constantly the victim of being beaten up by the other members of the club all the while pining for our heroine/eye sore Chiharu Shinonome.
Chiharu Shinonome - Stephanie Sheh [Credited as Becky Chiang] (Bleach, Naruto, Sailor Moon [2014 Viz Media]): Chiharu is our only female character with any real involvement in the plot. Often a victim of fanservice and Densuke's "plot" convienent slips and falls, she's the poster girl of the fanservice of this show. She's a shy girl who becomes attracted to Densuke because...reasons. She seems to never hold what Densuke does to her; at least not for long anyway. Both her and Densuke are often the victims of the Eiken Club's president. Note: 88 cm (F-Cup) bust that grows beyond 100 by the end of the manga.
Kirika Misano - Cindy Robinson (Bleach, Sailor Moon [2014 Viz Media], Code Geass): A trouble maker who loves to tease Densuke and putting him into embarrassing situations. She especially like throwing her body at him, whether its smothering him between her breasts, sitting on him, ect. She also has a habit of eating and sucking on very phallic foods and not really eating them. There's not much beyond her than that. Well, there is the fact that this is the second big-jubbly role I've seen Cindy Robinson voice (99 cm G Cup to be precise).
Komoe Harumachi - Rebecca Forstadt (Code Geass, Tenchu Muyo! series, Samurai Girl: Real Bout High School): The youngest member of the club at 11 years old, she also has the biggest set amongs the girls at 111 cm. She's clumsy. And likes to jump up and down a lot that knocks her breasts everywhere with her knees. That's about it. The only real detail about her is having the mental image of this poor girl being associated with a blind and crippled girl who pretty much embodies innocence.
Grace Lin - Mona Marshall (.hack//Unison, Love Hina, Digimon Adventure): A half British/Chinese girl who tells fortunes in the club. She's...modest. That's about all for her. 77 cm (A-Cup).
Kyoko Morooka - Rebecca Forstadt (Same Credits): The smallest girl who acts as second in command and pilots a robot. 55 cm.
Yuriko Shininome - Jessica Gee (Tenchi Muyo! GXP, Viper GTS, Land Before Time [series]): Chiharu's 8th grade younger sister who often makes Densuke molest her either by throwing her crotch into his face or moving his hand to her private parts. Essentually she just WANTS Densuke. Only other detail here I learned is that her voice actress voiced several hentai, as well as other actors in this anime. I'm currently diving in and finding out just how many hentai Viz Media has dubbed. 73 cm.
Teacher - Mari Devon [credited as Kathey Keller] (Batman: The Animated Series, Digimon: Digital Monsters, Rurouni Kenshin): The teacher in charge of the club. He gimmick is that she's always sad that no one at the school, or even the club, can remember her name. Her only other shtick is being caught in compromising positions with Densuke and causing trouble for Chiharu. 85 cm (C-Cup).
Shima Kurosawa - Grant George (Kill la Kill, Bleach, Higurashi: When They Cry): A popular boy after Chiharu's heart. That's all.
Welp, with our audience self-insert and the women most prepubescent boys dream about introduced, let's dive into the slippery shit-flavored chocolate slide that is: Eiken.
Our first episode opens on Densuke being amazed that he was able to attend Zashono Academy by getting the top score on the entrance exam. He slips on a banana peel and ends up crashing on top of Chiharu Shinonome with his hands on her breasts. He immediately becomes the center of attention of the entire school. Out of nowhere, Kirika Misano and Kyoko Morooka (in her robot) descend from the sky and force both him and Chiharu to become members of the club. Kirika's reason: Densuke's boring and unimpressive. Fantastic. Role the intro and get this over with.
We skip to Densuke receiving a fortune from Grace Lin by crawling toward each other with a rose in his mouth and dropping it (I guess Tarot Cards were out of the question). Grace says the fortune tells that someone will come and take something precious from him. Shortly after, we're given a flashback where Densuke is tricked by two students who hate him into peeping into the nurse's office while female students are changing for the annual check-up; Chiharu being among them and being embarrassed. I'd like to be the fly on the wall for that check-up...not for various naked girls, no. Purely for the fact that I want to see the reaction of whoever needs to check on the Eiken Club girls and see their reactions.
"JESUS CHRIST YOUR SPINE SHOULD NOT EVEN EXIST BY THIS POINT!!!"
In the present, the Eiken Club (minus Chiharu) sits down for dinner. In between getting between several pairs of breasts, while the teacher looks for her chopsticks, Komoe slips on a banana peel (while running in place), we get a WEIRD slow-mo sequence of the pair falling over and crashing into Densuke, resulting in him being mushed in between both Komoe and Teacher's breasts in the middle of the noodle spinner.
Afterward, Densuke goes to find Chiharu sitting by a fountain. He begins by apologizing to Chiharu for peeping on her. Chiharu admits to being embarrassed by Densuke seeing her. The two begin playing in the fountain. During which, Chiharu reveals her birthday is Monday and asks if Densuke is free. After the two kids who got Densuke into trouble throw banana peels at Densuke, the two are interrupted by Yuriko smashing her crotch into Densuke's face. Yuriko moves over to un-clip Chiharu's bra and rubs her breasts. As Densuke runs to stop Yuriko, he slips on a banana peel and falls down. He looks up to see that he had removed Chiharu's panties. That boy must've been looking up like he was seeing the face of god. Chiharu runs away crying. Kirika sends Yuriko home and advises Densuke to win at the coming Ultra Games to get some money for buying Chiharu a good enough present.
The following day, the summer games open. All the school clubs compete in a series of events across the island of the campus in order to win. The first event is a bungee cord jump from the spire of the school and successfully grabbing a flag from a pool. Komoe wins it for the Eiken club by using her breasts as a bouncing pad after grabbing the flag.
The game's commentators take not to explain that Eiken has lost every year now and even point out that there's nothing special about Densuke. The second stage is introduced as a gigantic series of water slides filled with white yogurt. The commentators even ASK why there's liquid yogrut being used (with no answer). The contestants of each team must stick together throughout the slide without separating. Densuke must stick together with Chiharu, the teacher, and Yuriko. Before they start, as Chiharu mentions her fear of heights, Densuke promises to protect her. Yuriko gets in front of Densuke and begins using his hands to molest her breasts and crotch. The game quickly begins.
While sliding down, the Eiken team members switch positions between each tunnel. The primary positions maintained though are his hands being used by Yuriko to molest her body while his foot accidentally takes off Chiharu's top. At the very bottom, Chiaru runs away in complete embarrassment over Densuke's actions.
After Chiharu runs off, she is found by the voice box that is Shima Kurosawa, who tries to cheer Chiharu up and protect her as well. Kirika even questions why Densuke isn't going after her.
Soo....that was utter shit. Not a second goes by in this episode where I'm not cringing at every line of dialogue, every scene, and every single movement of animation. The only redeeming thing so far is Kurosawa, and that's because Grant George is playing him like a Moonbase Alpha. The best we can hope far is that he starts imitating a Chinese Earthquake.
The next episode opens on Chiharu being comforted by Kurosawa's robot voice and being seduced to the dark side. The next game is a race between two members of a team carrying a small ball together without using their hands or dropping it. All participants are soon changed into female swimwear, Kurosawa's blimp descends from above in a blimp with his team of maid clones. Densuke is changed into female swimwear as well as per the rules (that and Kirika seems to have a habit of forcing him to cross-dress). Yuriko jumps into to team up with Densuke just as Chiharu is revealed to have switched teams to Kurosawa's.
Just as Chiharu is expressing regret for switch, Kurosawa comes over and forces her to hold the ball with her mouth as he holds the other end.
The game begins, as Kurosawa forces himself closer to Chiharu while Densuke is struggling to compete because Yuriko's breasts are being pressed into him. Even as Chiharu keeps getting more embarrassed, Kurosawa keeps putting himself in "odd" positions to hold the ball. As Chiharu remembers Densuke's promise to protect her, she reaches out to him...only to see Yuriko at his crotch holding the ball on her head.
The scene is immediately ended and cut to the aftermath where Kurosawa is apologizing to Chiharu while Densuke watches from the bushes. Densuke falls out of the bushes, and Kurosawa proceeds to mock him...somewhat.
The next game is a beach relay race between four members of each team. ("Don't even ask why there are only girls at the fourth stage!" [You know why there're only girls here]).
Kurosawa proceeds to point out Densuke's feelings for Chiharu (which he does not confirm or deny). The little bitch doesn't even fight for himself when Kurosawa offers to ask her out. Just as Densuke is about to stand up, Kirika comes in and interrupts them. The race goes on without them. (GOOD). Kirika and Kurosawa strike a deal that whoever wins the Games wins Chiharu. Densuke laments that he has no chance of winning against the defending champion. As he wipes his face, Chiaru realizes that he's using her panties to do so and runs off. See what I meant by "no heroic qualities"?
As the race goes on, Densuke sits alone and wallows in self-pity. Yuriko comes from around the corner to support him. Or rather, strip down naked and try to rub herself on him. Even with some "encouragement", the guy still continues crying about how he doesn't compare. For the love of crap, its like if Shinji became a harem protagonist minus the cool robots! Wait....
TOO DEEP TOO DEEP! Eiken wins the round.
As Densuke keeps wallowing in pity, Grace comes out of nowhere and begins to GENUINELY encourage him, despite her fortune from earlier. In the process, she uses the same eye-opening animation three times.
The final match is another sliding game, where both teams will be using banana boats on a chocolate-filled slide. For some reason, Chiharu has switched back over to Eiken's side and teams up with Densuke. Once again, Chiharu leans in close to Densuke due to her fear of heights. The race kicks off, and right off the bat, by some god forsaken misfortune, Densuke ends up on top of Chiharu with his hands on her breasts and being "forced" to rub them due to the rapid movement of the boat. Kurosawa and his maid team mate jump on to Eiken's boat in an attempt to stop Densuke. Near the end of the race, Kurosawa reveals he knew about Grace's fortune via spy cameras and loses his toupee in the process. After another slow-mo scene, both teams lose due to falling off the boat.
Our anime ends with exposition that Kurosawa was back to America for spying on the Eiken Club. Chiharu and Densuke enjoy time together in a hot spring as part of a consultation prize. As Densuke regrets out loud that he can't get Chiharu a nice present, Chiharu defends that him being with her is enough. The end. Show's over. Everyone get the HELL OUT.
This is by far one of the most digusting and pointless anime I have ever seen in my entire life and I hate everything it is. Let's start with the characters.
Every one is spiteful. The only characters who get any kind of character development are Densuke and Chiharu, and it's very little and inconsequential. Unless you count Grant George's voice being able to emote for his final line in the his entire performance, there isn't a damn thing else. All the other characters have little to know point other than to smash their plot into Densuke's face. The only likable one is Kirika, and that's because she's constantly the Gendo to Densuke's Shinji and making him get into gear. Chiharu and Densuke are the worst characters, even if they do have the most development. Densuke is a worthless whiner who can't stop mentioning how weak he is and how hopeless it is to beat Kurosawa. And even IF he's supposed to be a nice guy, it's not helped when he revels in Chiharu pressing her chest against his back. Chiharu herself is a piece of work. I can never understand why these kind of female characters go for these wimpy shrimps beyond "he was nice to me". Heck, I had to look up why she likes him so much. Apparently she likes him so much ever since he grabbed her chest one the first day of school. Man, if that's all it takes to get a girl to like you, start flipping skirts, folks! The little shrimp doesn't even put up a fight for her when Kurosawa tries to make moves on her. I get the point is that he's modest, shy, and nervous about it, but COME ON at least put up some kind of fight!
For the voice acting, I'm not gonna crack on it TOO much. This was released in 2003, about 2 years before Bleach was released (but after Naruto was). There are talented voices here, but dear GOD are they crap here. The only one who isn't "bad" is Stephanie Sheh, but that's not saying much considering the competition. Grant George has come A LONG way from whatever the hell he was doing as Kurosawa. Now he's voicing one of the heartthrobs of Kill la Kill and so far, he's pretty good. But I can't help but laugh my ass off when realizing other characters these folks would go to voice and just imagine if the characters were switched. I can barely contain myself thinking of Lelouch having a sis-con toward that evolutionary abomination that is Komoe. The voice acting world gets hilarious when you dive into the actor's histories. I'll get back to you all on the hentai these people have voiced and proceed to revel in their probable shame.
(I'm kidding, of course. Every voice actor has to get their start somewhere, and I respect what they do and have to go through).
The animation is just absolute garbage. It's improperly layered in sections, twitchy, and just completely unpleasent to look at. I could barely keep my eyes focused on the screen having to stare at the Eiken Club's antics without needing to squint my eyes in pain. The jiggle physics are strong with this series and bout near destroys the camera at every angle. Not to mention they constantly recycle several animations such as Grace opening her eyes and the GThe only time the animation so much as steps up to being passable is during close ups of the girls in compromising positions. It all just looks like a fifth grader's drawings somehow got the budget to be animated.
The story is immediately doomed from the start when you realize that the OVA takes place during volume 3. There's not much to say about it since it's only two episodes (THANK BUDDHA). It's absurd, stupid, but at least it was short. It does start to drag when you realize by the time Grace is deep-throating a chocolate banana that you're not even halfway through the episode and still have about 15 mins left of this crap.
Bottom line: a pure disaster of the greatest kind. I would only recommend this anime to show a bad example of harem anime, or just have a good laugh. Otherwise, avoid this thing like the pox and keep away from it. The only kind of comfort I can take from his series is knowing that I will never have to watch it again. The only possibly good thing about this show is that when Densuke slips and molests the girls, there's some kind of possibility it's on accident. At least it's not like Rito from To-Love Ru and probably faking it all.
But this year, I decided to do something different: I decided to do something for YOU: my loyal readers. Today, we're diving into anime once more. But no ordinary anime. This is highly regarded as one of the worst anime out there, and a gigantic blemish on several voice actors resumes.
Today we take a look at: Eiken (Pronounced Ai-ken in the dub)
Eiken is a fanservice-themed manga created by Seiji Matsuyama. It tells the titlating tales of young Densuke Mifune at Zashono Academy. He's an uninspired, boring, average boy forced into joining the mysterious "Eiken" club at his prestigious school; all the other members being female and have REDUNKULOUS-sized breasts. The manga ran for eighteen volumes from 2001-2006, and had several radio dramas and today's subject: a two episode OVA that takes place during the third volume
As mentioned before, the manga and anime are regarded by many critics to be among the worst with poor ratings everywhere we look. Now the biggest question on your mind: "Why are you looking at this instead of something 'loved' theme for the holiday?"
The answer: Easy. I hate Eiken. And I'm spreading that hate for the world to enjoy. I'll be going over BOTH episodes since its, well, only two episodes at a half hour each with little to nothing in it. Plenty of time to rip it to shreds. Because of its length, we're going to look at the characters first. Surprise, surprise: there are too many characters here to just pass buy. So, let's start with the male lead.
Densuke Mifune - Bryce Papenbrook (Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online, Durarara!!): Densuke (pronounced, Den-su-kay in the dub) is our...our...he's a punching bag. He can't really be called hero because there are little to no positive qualities about him that indicate heroics or bravery. Densuke is an average, unimpressive, young man with a habit of slipping on banana peels and ending up in perverted situations. As a result. He's constantly the victim of being beaten up by the other members of the club all the while pining for our heroine/eye sore Chiharu Shinonome.Chiharu Shinonome - Stephanie Sheh [Credited as Becky Chiang] (Bleach, Naruto, Sailor Moon [2014 Viz Media]): Chiharu is our only female character with any real involvement in the plot. Often a victim of fanservice and Densuke's "plot" convienent slips and falls, she's the poster girl of the fanservice of this show. She's a shy girl who becomes attracted to Densuke because...reasons. She seems to never hold what Densuke does to her; at least not for long anyway. Both her and Densuke are often the victims of the Eiken Club's president. Note: 88 cm (F-Cup) bust that grows beyond 100 by the end of the manga.Komoe Harumachi - Rebecca Forstadt (Code Geass, Tenchu Muyo! series, Samurai Girl: Real Bout High School): The youngest member of the club at 11 years old, she also has the biggest set amongs the girls at 111 cm. She's clumsy. And likes to jump up and down a lot that knocks her breasts everywhere with her knees. That's about it. The only real detail about her is having the mental image of this poor girl being associated with a blind and crippled girl who pretty much embodies innocence.Grace Lin - Mona Marshall (.hack//Unison, Love Hina, Digimon Adventure): A half British/Chinese girl who tells fortunes in the club. She's...modest. That's about all for her. 77 cm (A-Cup).Kyoko Morooka - Rebecca Forstadt (Same Credits): The smallest girl who acts as second in command and pilots a robot. 55 cm.Teacher - Mari Devon [credited as Kathey Keller] (Batman: The Animated Series, Digimon: Digital Monsters, Rurouni Kenshin): The teacher in charge of the club. He gimmick is that she's always sad that no one at the school, or even the club, can remember her name. Her only other shtick is being caught in compromising positions with Densuke and causing trouble for Chiharu. 85 cm (C-Cup).Welp, with our audience self-insert and the women most prepubescent boys dream about introduced, let's dive into the slippery shit-flavored chocolate slide that is: Eiken.
Our first episode opens on Densuke being amazed that he was able to attend Zashono Academy by getting the top score on the entrance exam. He slips on a banana peel and ends up crashing on top of Chiharu Shinonome with his hands on her breasts. He immediately becomes the center of attention of the entire school. Out of nowhere, Kirika Misano and Kyoko Morooka (in her robot) descend from the sky and force both him and Chiharu to become members of the club. Kirika's reason: Densuke's boring and unimpressive. Fantastic. Role the intro and get this over with.
We skip to Densuke receiving a fortune from Grace Lin by crawling toward each other with a rose in his mouth and dropping it (I guess Tarot Cards were out of the question). Grace says the fortune tells that someone will come and take something precious from him. Shortly after, we're given a flashback where Densuke is tricked by two students who hate him into peeping into the nurse's office while female students are changing for the annual check-up; Chiharu being among them and being embarrassed. I'd like to be the fly on the wall for that check-up...not for various naked girls, no. Purely for the fact that I want to see the reaction of whoever needs to check on the Eiken Club girls and see their reactions.
"JESUS CHRIST YOUR SPINE SHOULD NOT EVEN EXIST BY THIS POINT!!!"
In the present, the Eiken Club (minus Chiharu) sits down for dinner. In between getting between several pairs of breasts, while the teacher looks for her chopsticks, Komoe slips on a banana peel (while running in place), we get a WEIRD slow-mo sequence of the pair falling over and crashing into Densuke, resulting in him being mushed in between both Komoe and Teacher's breasts in the middle of the noodle spinner.
 |
| Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and call bull on that teacher being a C-Cup |
Afterward, Densuke goes to find Chiharu sitting by a fountain. He begins by apologizing to Chiharu for peeping on her. Chiharu admits to being embarrassed by Densuke seeing her. The two begin playing in the fountain. During which, Chiharu reveals her birthday is Monday and asks if Densuke is free. After the two kids who got Densuke into trouble throw banana peels at Densuke, the two are interrupted by Yuriko smashing her crotch into Densuke's face. Yuriko moves over to un-clip Chiharu's bra and rubs her breasts. As Densuke runs to stop Yuriko, he slips on a banana peel and falls down. He looks up to see that he had removed Chiharu's panties. That boy must've been looking up like he was seeing the face of god. Chiharu runs away crying. Kirika sends Yuriko home and advises Densuke to win at the coming Ultra Games to get some money for buying Chiharu a good enough present.
 |
| THE LORD IS GOOD! |
The game's commentators take not to explain that Eiken has lost every year now and even point out that there's nothing special about Densuke. The second stage is introduced as a gigantic series of water slides filled with white yogurt. The commentators even ASK why there's liquid yogrut being used (with no answer). The contestants of each team must stick together throughout the slide without separating. Densuke must stick together with Chiharu, the teacher, and Yuriko. Before they start, as Chiharu mentions her fear of heights, Densuke promises to protect her. Yuriko gets in front of Densuke and begins using his hands to molest her breasts and crotch. The game quickly begins.
After Chiharu runs off, she is found by the voice box that is Shima Kurosawa, who tries to cheer Chiharu up and protect her as well. Kirika even questions why Densuke isn't going after her.
Soo....that was utter shit. Not a second goes by in this episode where I'm not cringing at every line of dialogue, every scene, and every single movement of animation. The only redeeming thing so far is Kurosawa, and that's because Grant George is playing him like a Moonbase Alpha. The best we can hope far is that he starts imitating a Chinese Earthquake.
The next episode opens on Chiharu being comforted by Kurosawa's robot voice and being seduced to the dark side. The next game is a race between two members of a team carrying a small ball together without using their hands or dropping it. All participants are soon changed into female swimwear, Kurosawa's blimp descends from above in a blimp with his team of maid clones. Densuke is changed into female swimwear as well as per the rules (that and Kirika seems to have a habit of forcing him to cross-dress). Yuriko jumps into to team up with Densuke just as Chiharu is revealed to have switched teams to Kurosawa's.
 |
| I've seen enough NTR to see where this is going.... |
Just as Chiharu is expressing regret for switch, Kurosawa comes over and forces her to hold the ball with her mouth as he holds the other end.The game begins, as Kurosawa forces himself closer to Chiharu while Densuke is struggling to compete because Yuriko's breasts are being pressed into him. Even as Chiharu keeps getting more embarrassed, Kurosawa keeps putting himself in "odd" positions to hold the ball. As Chiharu remembers Densuke's promise to protect her, she reaches out to him...only to see Yuriko at his crotch holding the ball on her head.
The scene is immediately ended and cut to the aftermath where Kurosawa is apologizing to Chiharu while Densuke watches from the bushes. Densuke falls out of the bushes, and Kurosawa proceeds to mock him...somewhat.
The next game is a beach relay race between four members of each team. ("Don't even ask why there are only girls at the fourth stage!" [You know why there're only girls here]).
Kurosawa proceeds to point out Densuke's feelings for Chiharu (which he does not confirm or deny). The little bitch doesn't even fight for himself when Kurosawa offers to ask her out. Just as Densuke is about to stand up, Kirika comes in and interrupts them. The race goes on without them. (GOOD). Kirika and Kurosawa strike a deal that whoever wins the Games wins Chiharu. Densuke laments that he has no chance of winning against the defending champion. As he wipes his face, Chiaru realizes that he's using her panties to do so and runs off. See what I meant by "no heroic qualities"?
 |
| That is the face of a broken and betrayed woman. Way to go, Den-Su-Kay |
As the race goes on, Densuke sits alone and wallows in self-pity. Yuriko comes from around the corner to support him. Or rather, strip down naked and try to rub herself on him. Even with some "encouragement", the guy still continues crying about how he doesn't compare. For the love of crap, its like if Shinji became a harem protagonist minus the cool robots! Wait....
TOO DEEP TOO DEEP! Eiken wins the round.
As Densuke keeps wallowing in pity, Grace comes out of nowhere and begins to GENUINELY encourage him, despite her fortune from earlier. In the process, she uses the same eye-opening animation three times.
The final match is another sliding game, where both teams will be using banana boats on a chocolate-filled slide. For some reason, Chiharu has switched back over to Eiken's side and teams up with Densuke. Once again, Chiharu leans in close to Densuke due to her fear of heights. The race kicks off, and right off the bat, by some god forsaken misfortune, Densuke ends up on top of Chiharu with his hands on her breasts and being "forced" to rub them due to the rapid movement of the boat. Kurosawa and his maid team mate jump on to Eiken's boat in an attempt to stop Densuke. Near the end of the race, Kurosawa reveals he knew about Grace's fortune via spy cameras and loses his toupee in the process. After another slow-mo scene, both teams lose due to falling off the boat.
Our anime ends with exposition that Kurosawa was back to America for spying on the Eiken Club. Chiharu and Densuke enjoy time together in a hot spring as part of a consultation prize. As Densuke regrets out loud that he can't get Chiharu a nice present, Chiharu defends that him being with her is enough. The end. Show's over. Everyone get the HELL OUT.
This is by far one of the most digusting and pointless anime I have ever seen in my entire life and I hate everything it is. Let's start with the characters.
Every one is spiteful. The only characters who get any kind of character development are Densuke and Chiharu, and it's very little and inconsequential. Unless you count Grant George's voice being able to emote for his final line in the his entire performance, there isn't a damn thing else. All the other characters have little to know point other than to smash their plot into Densuke's face. The only likable one is Kirika, and that's because she's constantly the Gendo to Densuke's Shinji and making him get into gear. Chiharu and Densuke are the worst characters, even if they do have the most development. Densuke is a worthless whiner who can't stop mentioning how weak he is and how hopeless it is to beat Kurosawa. And even IF he's supposed to be a nice guy, it's not helped when he revels in Chiharu pressing her chest against his back. Chiharu herself is a piece of work. I can never understand why these kind of female characters go for these wimpy shrimps beyond "he was nice to me". Heck, I had to look up why she likes him so much. Apparently she likes him so much ever since he grabbed her chest one the first day of school. Man, if that's all it takes to get a girl to like you, start flipping skirts, folks! The little shrimp doesn't even put up a fight for her when Kurosawa tries to make moves on her. I get the point is that he's modest, shy, and nervous about it, but COME ON at least put up some kind of fight!
For the voice acting, I'm not gonna crack on it TOO much. This was released in 2003, about 2 years before Bleach was released (but after Naruto was). There are talented voices here, but dear GOD are they crap here. The only one who isn't "bad" is Stephanie Sheh, but that's not saying much considering the competition. Grant George has come A LONG way from whatever the hell he was doing as Kurosawa. Now he's voicing one of the heartthrobs of Kill la Kill and so far, he's pretty good. But I can't help but laugh my ass off when realizing other characters these folks would go to voice and just imagine if the characters were switched. I can barely contain myself thinking of Lelouch having a sis-con toward that evolutionary abomination that is Komoe. The voice acting world gets hilarious when you dive into the actor's histories. I'll get back to you all on the hentai these people have voiced and proceed to revel in their probable shame.
(I'm kidding, of course. Every voice actor has to get their start somewhere, and I respect what they do and have to go through).
The animation is just absolute garbage. It's improperly layered in sections, twitchy, and just completely unpleasent to look at. I could barely keep my eyes focused on the screen having to stare at the Eiken Club's antics without needing to squint my eyes in pain. The jiggle physics are strong with this series and bout near destroys the camera at every angle. Not to mention they constantly recycle several animations such as Grace opening her eyes and the GThe only time the animation so much as steps up to being passable is during close ups of the girls in compromising positions. It all just looks like a fifth grader's drawings somehow got the budget to be animated.
The story is immediately doomed from the start when you realize that the OVA takes place during volume 3. There's not much to say about it since it's only two episodes (THANK BUDDHA). It's absurd, stupid, but at least it was short. It does start to drag when you realize by the time Grace is deep-throating a chocolate banana that you're not even halfway through the episode and still have about 15 mins left of this crap.
Bottom line: a pure disaster of the greatest kind. I would only recommend this anime to show a bad example of harem anime, or just have a good laugh. Otherwise, avoid this thing like the pox and keep away from it. The only kind of comfort I can take from his series is knowing that I will never have to watch it again. The only possibly good thing about this show is that when Densuke slips and molests the girls, there's some kind of possibility it's on accident. At least it's not like Rito from To-Love Ru and probably faking it all.
 |
| Seriosly?! How does that even happen?! |
Comments
Post a Comment